I hate your face
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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