Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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