I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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