omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize