My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I want to have your abortion
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
