Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
