my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
