Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I DEMAND FORESKIN
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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