I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
