I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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