a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
