and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
