I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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