no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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