I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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