All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
