I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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