WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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