Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
