That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
