Me too!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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