similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
