i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So here I am, sexting at work.
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