I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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