Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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