Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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