A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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