am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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