..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
