She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
