THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize