Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
