We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
