theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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