I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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