We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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