Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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