At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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