I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
