Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
