so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
