does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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