My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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