i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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