I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
