yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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