we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
