We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
