just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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