I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
