i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
