I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
