will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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