Duck Duck Cougar?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
