I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
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So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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