whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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