Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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