She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
