the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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