I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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