Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize