Your face is a jimmy john
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize