then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
