the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize