You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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