The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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