I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
