You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize