bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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