so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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