Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
