Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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